


Be More Like The Man You Were Made To Be

by allonsyarielle



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Swearing, TOO MUCH CUTE, pedrazar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-19
Packaged: 2018-02-25 07:10:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2612873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allonsyarielle/pseuds/allonsyarielle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pedro finally realises he has feelings for Balthazar and decides to act on them.  </p><p>(Formerly titled Third Time's The Charm, but changed due to the fact that this is now a multichapter fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Third Time's The Charm

**Author's Note:**

> I literally can't remember the last time I published fanfiction! It was back before I even started using AO3. I've never really considered myself a great writer, but these two have just been so distracting in my head I had to get it all out there.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pedro watches BLEURGH and has to finally deal with the fact that he might actually have feelings for Balthazar, but he's not quite sure how to handle it all.

_I heard from Ursula that Balthazar likes Pedro..._  
  
Pedro had to hit pause on the video there. The words kept ringing in his ears and his brain just would not process them. Ever since Balthazar posted "An Ode" he's been having these strange confusing feelings, but for the most part ignoring them. He's straight. He likes girls. He’s never doubted this before. So then why does the thought of Balthazar having feelings for him make him feel like Bea used to when they first met? He knew Balth was gay. Everyone knew. It never bothered him before.  In fact back in Year Nine when the rumours started spreading around school about Balthazar being gay he was the one who would stand up for him and make sure those homophobic idiots were set straight.  Balth was his best friend after all.  He saw him like a brother.  Except that he had a brother, and he definitely never had as strong as a need to protect John as he did Balthazar.  John didn’t make him nervous.  John didn’t cause him to occasionally get tongue tied.  Fuck, he thought, realising that perhaps his feelings for Balthazar did go a little beyond brotherly love.  But he never thought of himself as being gay…or bi…or whatever it is he might be. He’s never even had feelings for another guy before.  It’s always been girls.  Well, girls and Balthazar.  Could he be straight but still have feelings for a guy?  This was too weird.  Too confusing.  And there was no way he was going to figure it out on his own.  But who could help?  He couldn’t talk to Balthazar.  That would just be too weird! And Ben and Claud wouldn’t understand.  He picked up his phone and dialled the only person he thought might be able to help him.  
  
"Hello?" Ursula answered.  
  
"Is it true?" Pedro asked without even acknowledging the greeting.  
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"Pedro. So is it true? What Bea said in the video about Balth."  
  
Ursula took her time to respond. She was analysing Pedro's tone. He didn't sound angry or upset, but there was a sense of urgency and worry in his voice. She knows she agreed to go along with Team Love Gods part 2, but she still had her reservations. Balthazar is one of her best friends after all, and she's the only one he's ever talked to about his feelings for Pedro. She knows how hard it’s been for him, and she just doesn't want to see him get hurt.  
  
"I think you need to be having this conversation with him. Didn't you watch the rest of the video, open communication is key to any relationship, whether that be romantic or platonic." She finally responded.  
  
Pedro hadn't continued watching the video, but a part of him knew she was right. The other part of him, however, was not ready to talk to Balthazar.  He needed to figure out his own stuff first.  
  
"I - I just don't know if I can.  I mean…at least not yet,” he paused, trying to find the right words. “Talking to him would make this all real and I don't even know what that means. I don't know what anything means anymore. I thought I had everything figured out.  That I was this “all around great guy” who had all the answers, but lately I just don't know any more.”  He let out a long exasperated sigh.  There was a pain in his voice Ursula recognised, though it wasn’t one often heard from Pedro.  In fact she wasn’t sure she’d ever heard Pedro so torn apart.  
  
"Look, Pedro, I know you're confused, and it's perfectly normal to be confused. No one figures these things out overnight. Trust me.  Take your time. Don't get caught up in the labels or what anyone else thinks. Just do what feels right for you. The rest will come with time. But you really should talk to him.  If for nothing else than to at least reassure him you’re okay. Remember how you felt when Bea rejected you? Well that's how Balth feels right now. He's broken, and afraid of losing his best friend. So just talk to him."  
  
Pedro was a bit surprised that Ursula somehow seemed to know exactly what was going through his head even though he barely knew himself.  Though he never mentioned the possibility of him reciprocating those feelings, she seemed to have understood, it wasn’t Balthazar’s feelings for him that freaked him out, so much as his own feelings for his best friend.  They line stayed quiet for a short while before Pedro finally responded.  
  
"Ok. Thanks, Ursula. This helped.”  
  
"No problem. And Pedro?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm glad you called me. I know the two of us haven't really been close, we're more friends by default, but I'm here if you ever need anything."  
  
"Thanks."  They hung up.  
  
While Pedro felt a little better after talking to Ursula, he still didn't feel great. But he knew she was right, he really did need to talk to Balthazar. The image of those sad little puppy dog eyes that popped into his head when Ursula used the word “broken” to describe him just tore at his heart strings.  He was still no closer to figuring anything out, but he wasn’t the type of guy to sit around thinking things out.  He needed to do something, and he knew that something was talking to Balthazar.  
  


* * *

Pedro circled Balthazar's house probably about five times before he parked the car, and then he ended up pacing the porch a few times before getting up the courage to knock. He knew it was silly, he's been here a million times before, but this time was different, and he was nervous.  
  
If he hadn’t been so nervous and in his own head, Pedro might have heard what was going on on the other side of the door.  Balthazar could see it was Pedro through the peep hole, and took a deep breath before opening the door.  He was bracing for the worst because he really had no idea what to expect.  He knew it was stupid to let Ben and Bea put his feelings for Pedro out there, even if it was meant to be sort of hypothetical.  But then there was another part of him that was tired of hiding.  Tired of lying to himself and to everyone, even if that meant maybe losing his best friend.  
  
“Hey,” Pedro said nervously with a shy half smile as the door opened, revealing Balthazar.    
  
“Hi,” Balthazar responded awkwardly, eyes pointed down toward the ground, purposely trying to avoid eye contact.  
  
They both stood there like that, Pedro with his hands shoved in his pockets, and Balthazar still holding on to the side of the door staring at his chucks, for a few seconds of awkward silence.  Neither of them knew what to do next.  
  
“Um, so, can I come in?”  Pedro finally asked tentatively.  
  
“Right, sorry.” Balthazar finally looked up and opened the door wider, inviting Pedro inside.  He didn’t look mad, but there was something about Pedro that just didn’t seem…well, Pedro.  Something he couldn’t quite put his finger on.  
  
Pedro ended up walking straight to Balthazar’s room while Balth followed.  It was just habit.  They always hung out in his room.  It wasn’t until he was inside and realised the only places to sit were the bed and the piano bench that he suddenly felt himself getting slightly embarrassed, and only hoped Balthazar couldn’t see the blush he could feel filling his cheeks.  Instead of sitting down on the bed like he usually would, he walked to the middle of the room, then turned back toward Balth and blurted out, “We need to talk.”  He noticed Balthazar drop his head further, avoiding looking at him.  For the second time today, Pedro felt that knot in his stomach at the thought of hurting Balthazar.  He realised he might have blurted that out a little too harshly, but his brain just wasn’t working properly.  His judgment was clouded, so he couldn’t be held accountable for his actions.  Which is also how he chose to explain what he did next.  
  
Pedro reached out and gently grabbed Balthazar’s chin between his thumb and the knuckle on his first finger, raising it just high enough that they were now looking eye to eye.  Balthazar was still trying hard not to make eye contact, but eventually gave in.  He had on those sad puppy dog eyes, and it hurt Pedro to see him that way.  It killed him inside to know that he was responsible for that pain, so he made an almost reflexive reaction and kissed Balthazar on the lips.    
  
It was a short kiss.  More of a peck, really, and surprised them both.  But it was enough change the tension of the room, drastically.  Balthazar now looked up at Pedro with questioning eyes.  Out of all the scenarios he imagined happening, this was not one of them.  Pedro’s response was just to shrug his shoulders and give Balthazar a look that essentially said “Yeah, I know, I don’t get it either, but I’m not running away either,” to which Balthazar nodded, and smiled slightly.  That kiss, as quick as it was, changed something between them, and they were both starting to feel a little more like themselves again.  
  
Pedro, now, sat down on Balthazar’s bed, just like he always did, and Balth joined him.  Balthazar still hadn’t said a word, but Pedro knew him better than almost anyone, and he knew that he needed to work things out in his head first.  Plus, even though something obviously changed just then, Pedro still wasn’t even sure what that kiss was.  It just came out of no where.  But he did kind of enjoy it, and wouldn’t really mind doing it again.  He’s still just as confused about all this as he was before, but it was at least a little more comforting to know, or at least hope, he’s not alone in this, and he had Balthazar, his best friend here with him to figure it all out.  After all, neither one of them had run for the hills, yet.  
  
“Look, I know this is weird.  Or at least it’s weird for me.  I don’t really know what any of it means.  But I do know that I don’t regret it.  I came here today confused, unsure, I didn’t even really know what I was going to say to you, but I needed you to know I wasn’t mad at you or anything.  You’re my best friend.  I can’t stand the thought that I might have hurt you, even if I didn’t know I was doing it.  And I probably should have realised everything sooner.  I mean you wrote me that song, after all!  But I guess I was just too scared and idiotic to see what was right in front of my face.   I couldn’t see it because I didn’t want to admit my own feelings to myself so I wrote it off as a joke, and I’m sorry.  But I do have feelings.  I might have only realised what they were like an hour ago so I’m still trying to figure things out, but I’m not going anywhere.  And, if you want to, we can try and figure this all out together.”  Pedro had been looking down at his own hands during that little speech, and when he got to the end, he finally looked up, hesitantly, to find Balthazar had one of his huge dorky smiles on his face.  
  
“I’d like that,” Balthazar said, nodding.  And before Pedro could open his mouth to say something more, Balthazar had his face cupped in his hands and kissed him again.  But unlike Pedro’s little peck, this was a real kiss.  This was the kiss Balthazar had always imagined when he let his mind wander to that place.  No, actually, this was better, because it was real, and was really happening to him!  But he could feel Pedro’s uncertainty in the way this was very much a one-sided kiss so he pulled away.  
  
“Sorry,” Balthazar said as he turned away.  This was it, he ruined it.  He got carried away and moved too fast.  All those years of repressed feelings surfacing all at once had scared Pedro away.  He knew this was a mistake.  He should have never let Ursula talk him into putting his feelings out there.  He knew it was only going to end badly.  He’d fallen for the “experimenting straight guy” enough to know it’s his heart that is always left in pieces in the end!  
  
Pedro’s eyes lingered shut for a few extra seconds after the kiss ended.  When his eyes opened, he noticed Balthazar had turned away from him and vaguely remembered hearing an apology from him.  In keeping with today’s theme, Pedro was confused.  That kiss was…well, it was unexpected, but incredible.  Pedro had been kissed many times before, but never like that!  He knew Balthazar had liked him, but he never realised just how deep those feelings were until he felt them rushing through that kiss.  So why now was he pulling away?  Man, boys were just as confusing as girls!  
  
“Hey,” Pedro finally spoke, as Balthazar was pushing himself up off the bed.  “Where are you going?”  Pedro reached up to try and keep Balthazar from walking away, but he wasn’t quick enough.  
  
“This was a mistake.  I should have never let them put up that video.  I don’t know what I was thinking.  You were never going to like me like I like you…”  Balthazar was still mumbling and pacing the room, when Pedro got up from the bed and steadied him by placing a hand on either shoulder.  
  
“Balth, hey man, where is this coming from?  Two seconds ago you were kissing me.  I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but I thought this is what you wanted.”  
  
Balthazar broke out of Pedro’s hold and turned away.  He just didn’t want to be touched right now.  
  
“I did.  I mean I do.  I mean - I -“ Balthazar turned right toward Pedro, looking him in the eye for the first time since before the kiss.  “You didn’t kiss me back!”  
  
“Oh,” was all Pedro could manage to respond.  And now for the third time tonight, he felt his heart tightening up at that sad look on Balthazar’s face.  He reached for Balth’s hands, bringing them both up between them, then interlocking his own fingers in Balthazar’s.  This time, Balthazar wasn’t resisting being touched.  “I was just surprised.  Caught off guard.” He shrugged.  “No one has ever kissed me like that before, and I guess I just kind of froze up. You kinda make me nervous and I have no idea what I am doing here.  But it was a nice kiss. A great one even.”  
  
“Yeah?” Balthazar was beginning to form one of his signature goofy smiles.  They were now standing so close, their foreheads were practically touching.  
  
“I guess I wouldn’t be opposed to trying again.”  
  
“Mhmm.”  Now their foreheads were actually touching.  
  
“Third time’s the charm.”  Pedro whispered and he could hear a faint laugh coming from Balthazar’s throat, and it was on that note that he kissed him.  This time, they were both participants in the kiss.  Balthazar was a little hesitant at first, still afraid that this was all just a big misunderstanding or a joke, but all those fears quickly melted away, and he just got lost in the lust of it all.  This time, when the kiss ended, they stayed just as they were, foreheads touching, hands still locked together, both with huge dorky smiles on their faces.  
  
Balthazar broke the silence first.  
  
“Pedro?”  
  
“Yeah?”  
  
“It fits.”  He flexed his fingers around Pedro’s, drawing the attention to their hands.  Pedro nodded, knowingly.  Balthazar was referencing his song.  
  
“Better than any other guy’s ever could.”  
  



	2. No Time Like The Present

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after Pedro and Balthazar left Hero's room in "one foot on sea one on shore one in the boiling hot lava".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, but I just wanted to put out an update before I got sucked back into all the school stuff I've been putting off while writing this the past couple of days.
> 
> Also you might notice that I've changed the title of this fic since the old title didn't really fit anymore once I made it a multichapter. Chapter 1 is stilled called "Third Time's The Charm" but I've decided to title the fic "Be More Like The Man You Were Made To Be" after Mumford & Sons/Balthazar's favourite song.

“Balthazar, do you want to go outside with me?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah sure,” Balthazar replied as they both got up and left Ben and John filming in Hero’s bedroom.  
  
They did actually go outside.  To the back yard, to be exact.  Between the darkness and the fact that mostly everyone was indoors, it allowed them to have a little privacy.  
  
“What were you doing in there?  You know you pretty much just told Ben without actually telling him.”  
  
“Yeah, I might have purposely let the conversation drift in that direction to see how it’d might go.”  Pedro was smiling.  For the first time since all this began, he felt at peace with himself.  The thought of being out with Balthazar wasn’t as scary as it had been a few weeks ago.  He might not be ready to shout it from rooftops, but baby steps, telling their friends and family, this he thinks he could do.  “Plus,” Pedro continued, “I just really needed to get you out of that room so I could do this.”  Pedro wrapped his arms around Balthazar’s waist, resting his hands inside Balthazar’s back pockets, then leaned down and kissed him.  
  
Balthazar was ready to protest because even though they were hidden in the shadows, anyone could really catch them, but once Pedro’s lips met his, it was like he was transported into another world, a world where they were the only two people around, and his mind just went blank.  
  
They both jumped apart a few seconds later when they heard someone snicker from not too far away.  
  
“Hey, you don’t have to stop on my account.”  It was just Ursula.  They both relaxed a bit.  “You two are really quite adorable.  But if you want some advice, if you are trying to keep your relationship a secret, making out in the backyard at your friend’s party is not really the best idea.  You were bound to get caught.  Just be glad it was me, and not someone else!”  
  
Ursula walked away, and the two boys turned toward each other and started laughing.  
  
“I think it is time we told people,” Pedro declared.  
  
“You sure?” Pedro nodded in response and took Balthazar’s hand.  
  
“I want people to know you are my boyfriend.  I want to be able to hold your hand when I want to, kiss you when I want to.  I don’t know if I’ll really ever be ready to deal with the potential backlash from the high school rumour mill, but I am tired of lying to our friends.  I haven’t really been myself lately around them and they know something is up, so I think we should just tell them.”  
  
“If that’s really what you want.”  Balthazar had been careful not to push Pedro into things too fast.  He was letting him set the pace of this relationship.  Of course Balthazar wanted the whole world to know Pedro Donaldson was his boyfriend, but he knew this was all new for Pedro and he needed time to work things through.  He really admired Pedro for how well he was handling it all.  It took Balthazar years to come to terms with his own sexuality, and now, in just a few short weeks, Pedro had owned up enough to his new-found sexuality to come out to their friends.  He really was an amazing guy!  
  
“I do,” Pedro responded with a sense of assurance in his voice.  
  
“You know, when I came out, officially, in Year Nine, knowing you had my back through everything just made it all just that much better for me.”  Even though it was dark, Balthazar felt himself hiding his face.  There was a lot he never shared with Pedro because it was not the kind of thing you told your straight best friend whom you were head over heels crushing on.  “You know, that’s actually when I first started to fantasise that maybe one day you’d actually reciprocate my feelings.  Most of my friends were fine with my being gay.  They just went on like nothing had changed, but you were the only one who really had my back and refused to let those homophobic jerks pick on me.  I might not be as intimidating as student leader, football captain Pedro Donaldson, but I can have you back this time.”  
  
Pedro pulled Balthazar in for a hug.  He was glad for the darkness because he was tearing up just a bit.  Even though they had been best friends since they were kids, there was still so much about Balthazar he was just getting to know.  He never realised how much of an impact his standing up for Balth had had back then.  He just couldn’t handle seeing his scrawny little musical genius of a best friend getting bullied by the jocks.  To him, it wasn’t even about his friend being gay or not, that’s just what friends did.  Or maybe it was more than that.  Maybe it was his subconscious acting on feelings he wasn’t able to admit back then.  Either way, it was these little things that just made him realise how stupid he was back then, and how happy he was with Balthazar, and how much he really did want to be able to share this happiness with his friends.  One of the first things Ursula said to him during their first talk was “Do what is right for you.”  Well this is what is right for him.  
  
Pedro took Balthazar by the hand, and started to guide him toward the doors that led back into the house.  
  
“Now?”  Balthazar asked.  
  
“No time like the present.”  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank your for reading and leaving your kind words! You all are the best! <3


	3. Shooting Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Balthazar's birthday and Pedro wants to make sure it is the best one ever!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was getting some conflicting information from the internet, but just to be clear, for the purpose of this fic, I am assuming that one turns 18 in Year Thirteen in New Zealand (not 19 like some website was saying). Also my headcannon is that Balthazar is one of the younger Year Thirteens so Pedro/everyone else is already 18.

Balthazar’s birthday was coming up and Pedro wanted it to be perfect!  He had enlisted Ursula’s help to throw him a surprise party.  
  
“How hard would it be to convince Mumford & Sons to come to New Zealand and play at Balthy’s party next month?”  
  
Ursula could not tell if he was joking or not.  He couldn’t be serious about that.  That was a crazy suggestion!  
  
“Pedro, you can’t seriously think an internationally known band like Mumford & Sons is going to fly around the world just to play at teenager’s birthday party.”  Pedro looked like he was about to fight her on the issue, but then she gave him one of her looks that made him back down.  
  
“Okay fine, no Mumford & Sons.”  
  
“Come on, we need to plan real things.  Like where do we want to have the party, who are we going to invite, what do we want to do at the party.”  Ursula was reading off a checklist she had made.  
  
“I just want this party to be the best one ever.”  
  
“I know, and it can be, even without inviting Balthazar’s favourite band to play.  You know he’ll love anything you do.  Even if that ends up being ordering pizza and hanging out in the living room because if we don’t get this planned out that is what we are going to end up doing!”  
  
“I just want to make it special.”  
  
“Anything you do will be special.  Balthazar doesn’t need grand gestures.  You know that.”  
  
“I know.  But he wrote me a song.  Actually he’s written me a few songs now.  And not even for any special occasions.  Just because he’s Balthazar and that’s what he does.  And I guess I just want to do something like that for him.  Something that makes him feel special because he’s, well he’s just Balthy, you know?” Pedro was babbling, but Ursula knew exactly what he was trying to say, yet once again Pedro was oblivious to his own feelings.  Pedro was in love with Balthazar, he just wasn’t aware of it yet.  She smiled at the thought.  She knows Balthazar has been in love with Pedro for years now, and it made her happy to see her friends so happy.  Unlike the rest of her friends, Ursula was not a meddler, so she just filed that thought away in her head to let Pedro figure this out on his own in his own time.  
  
“So you want to write him a song?” she ended up suggesting as an interpretation of his babbling.  
  
“Yeah.  Well, no.  I wouldn’t even know how to start with that.  Music is his thing.”  Then he paused and actually started to think about the suggestion.  A song would be perfect.  Balthazar would love it!  But he wouldn’t even know the first thing about writing a song for Balth.  He couldn’t sing or play any instruments, and he couldn’t exactly ask Balth to help him since that would defeat the purpose.  “I couldn’t write a song.”  
  
“Sure you can!  It wouldn’t have a be a work of musical genius, it’s more the thought that counts.  After all, look at that song Ben wrote.”  Ursula had a point, Ben’s song was pretty bad.  “You’re good with words, and I could help.  I know some musically inclined people other than Balthazar I’m sure could help.”  


* * *

  
It was the night of Balthazar’s birthday party.  Pedro was super nervous about it.  Ursula had helped Pedro write this song for Balthazar and every time he thought about Balth hearing it, he just felt like throwing up.  Not in a bad way though, just in a I-can’t-believe-you-talked-me-into-doing-this kind of way.  One thing was certain though, there was no way Pedro was going to share the song with Balthazar at the party in front of all of their friends.  He just wanted to keep it between the two of them.  He just hadn’t figured out when the best time to give it to him would be.  
  
Pedro was picking Balthazar up for dinner before the party.  The plan was to take him out to dinner while Ursula and John got everything for the party set up at the Donaldson house.    
  
Dinner was nice.  Pedro took Balthazar to one of his favourite restaurants and they both ordered the most ridiculous looking drink from the menu to celebrate Balth finally being old enough to purchase his own alcohol, which happened to be this colourful fruity drink that comes with a tiny umbrella.  They both laughed when the waitress brought them their drinks.  They were way bigger and stronger than either of them was expecting, so by the end of dinner they were both a bit buzzed.  
  
Neither was in a state to drive after, but thankfully the restaurant wasn’t too far from Pedro’s house so they decided to walk back, hand in hand.  
  
They were about a block from Pedro’s house when he stopped walking.  A combination of the alcohol, the darkness, and the adorable way the moonlight glowed across Balthazar’s face was making him brave. _It was now or never_ , he thought.  
  
“I want to give you your gift,”  Pedro said.  
  
“Here?”  Balthazar asked since they were literally standing on the sidewalk about a block away from Pedro’s house.  
  
“Yeah.  Um, here, sit there,” Pedro gestured to the bus stop bench a few feet from them.  Pedro pulled out a CD from his jacket pocket and handed it to Balthazar before sitting down next to him.  
  
Balthazar inspected the CD.  It was a blank CD with the words “For Balthazar” written in a black sharpie in Pedro’s handwriting.  
  
“You made me a mix CD?”  Balthazar questioned, since there was no indication what was on the CD and they didn’t exactly have access to a stereo.  
  
“Yeah, I mean no, not really.”  Pedro cursed under his breath.  “I was supposed to give this to you in the car where we had a stereo, but those drinks—”  He cut himself off because he started laughing when he thought about the drinks.  The combination of the alcohol and his nerves were making him giddy. “I’m sorry.  This was dumb.  Just listen to it later, okay?”  
  
“I promise.”  The sincerity in Balthazar’s voice, and the way his eyebrows raised when he smiled, were just too overwhelming for Pedro in that moment, so his response was to kiss him.  The kiss quickly escalated and before they knew it, they were full blown making out on the bus stop bench on the side of the road.  It wasn’t until Pedro’s phone rang they even realised they got carried away.  
  
Pedro missed the call, but when he went to check on it, he noticed the time.  It was 9:42.  They were supposed to have gotten to the party nearly 40 minutes ago, and Pedro had forgotten to text Ursula to tell her they were going to be late because they had to walk.  That’s who had called, Ursula, probably to figure out where they were.  
  
“We’re late for the surprise party huh?” Balthazar asked.  
  
“How?”  Pedro asked confused.  
  
“Ben let it slip last week at lunch when you were off with Ursula no doubt planning things.  I don’t even think he realised it until Bea kicked him under the table for it.”  
  
“But you didn’t say anything?”  
  
Balthazar just shrugged.  Pedro’s phone rang again.  This time, he answered it.  
  
“Sorry Ursula.  We’re on our way.  Had to take the long way.  Fruity drinks.”  Now Balthazar was laughing at him which was making it that much harder for him to form coherent sentences.  “Be there soon.”  
  
“Fruity drinks.  Why is that such a funny word?”  Balthazar was still laughing.  
  
“I don’t know.”  Pedro responded, joining him laughing as they walked the last block toward his house.

 

* * *

  
The rest of the party went off without a hitch.  Ursula had found some Year Ten with aspirations of being a DJ to DJ the party, and he was actually pretty good.  There was cake, and dancing, and maybe a little more drinking, and everyone just genuinely having a good time.  
  
Around midnight, things started to wind down as the Year Ten who was DJing had to be home for curfew.  People slowly started to make their ways out, until finally the only people left were Pedro and Balthazar, who had fallen asleep cuddled up on the love seat in the living room, and John and Ursula because the former lived there and the latter was going to give Balthazar a ride home after she was done cleaning up.  
  
“It’s a shame to wake them up.  They look so sweet.”  Ursula whispered, as John snapped a photo on his cell phone.  The clicking noise of the camera caused them to stir, but not wake up fully, then he threw a pillow at them.  
  
“Wakey wakey, party’s over,” John said.  
  
“Hey, that wasn’t nice,” Ursula said smacking John on the arm, then turning back toward Pedro and Balthazar who were both now partly awake and confused.  “Come on birthday boy, time to get you home.”  
  
Ursula helped guide a sleepy and tipsy Balthazar to her car and took him home, while John helped get his brother off to bed.  


* * *

  
When Balthazar got home, he crashed onto his bed, still in his clothes, when he felt something poking him in his jacket pocket.  He reached in and pulled out the CD Pedro had given him he completely forgot about.  He immediately grabbed his laptop and inserted the CD.  iTunes popped up and told him there was one track on the CD, which was a little weird, but he was too tired and maybe still a little bit too drunk to notice.  He double clicked “Track 1” and the song began to play.  
  
 _Let me tell you about this guy_  
 _He has no idea how special you are_  
 _But then one day something clicks_  
 _And there’s no denying how he feels_  
 _For you_  
  
 _Cos you’re Balthazar_  
 _You’re my wish upon a shooting star_  
 _You’re my best friend, my confidant, my boyfriend too_  
 _Yeah you’re my Balthazar_  
 _And I'm the luckiest guy by far_  
 _Cos I don’t know now who’d I be if not for you_  
  
Balthazar was crying.  Pedro wrote him a song.  That had to be the sweetest thing anyone ever did for him before.  Sure, he’s probably written Pedro about five songs now, but this was different.  Music just came naturally for him, kind of like Pedro and football, so he could only imagine what it was like for Pedro to write, sing, and record this song because he knew what happened the last time he tried to play football (hint: he sprained an ankle).  
  
Balthazar grabbed his phone and dialled Pedro’s number.  It went to voicemail.  
  
“You’ve reached Pedro, I can’t come to the phone right now, so leave a message and I’ll get back to you soon.” _Beep_.  
  
“Hey.  I know it’s late and you’re probably asleep, but I just got home and found your CD and listened to it.  I can’t believe you wrote me a song!  I love you.”  Balthazar froze.  He hadn’t meant to say that.  He meant to say “ _it_ ” “I love _**it**_ ”  and the “you” just slipped out.  I mean of course he loved Pedro, he’d been in love with Pedro since they were 14.  He just didn’t mean to tell him like that, on his voicemail.  He was going to wait for the right time.  “Fuck,” he muttered before hanging up the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys still alive? Cos I certainly am not! I knew I wanted Pedro to write Balthy a song for his birthday and I had lost the original words I wrote, but these are better!
> 
> Also if you follow me on tumblr you might seen that I might have started planning another Pedrazar fic that will be more angsty cos they keep wanting to be angsty even though I wanted this story to be pure fluff!


	4. Four Little Letters, Vast Amount of Meaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pedro reacts to Balthazar's voicemail

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated the rating on this to "Teen" and added in a swearing tag cos if this were a movie this chapter would have pushed it from the PG-13 to R rating based on swearing alone.

"Fuck," Balthazar muttered as he hung up the phone. _Shit shit shit_!  This was bad. Like really bad. Ugh why did everything that had to do with Pedro just turn his brain into mush?  
  
He picked up the phone again and called Ursula. He didn't care it was nearly 2AM, this was an emergency!  
  
"Hello?" A sleepy Ursula answered the phone.  
  
"I fucked up! I fucked up big!"  Balthazar was not one to curse lightly which is what triggered Ursula to quickly sober up from her half-asleep state.  
  
"Balthazar? I literally just dropped you off like a half hour ago. What happened?" She could hear he'd been crying. "Deep breath and start from the beginning."  She heard him breathe from the other end of the line.  
  
"He gave me this CD. And I forgot about it. But then I came home and found it in my pocket and listened to it and he wrote me a song. Him. Me. It was great. I loved it. See that's what I meant to say ‘I loved it’ but I fucked that up."  
  
"I still don't see what the problem is here. He wrote you a song. I know, I helped. He spent a lot of time on it."  
  
"I said ‘I love you.’ I didn't mean to. I meant to say 'it,’ I meant to tell him I loved the song, and it just came out and now I've fucked up cos it's too soon and it's going to scare him away."  
  
"Oh," was all Ursula could manage to say at first. She knew one of Balthazar's biggest fears was scaring Pedro off because this whole liking guys thing was still new for him. He was still waiting for the moment Pedro realised this was just a fun experiment and ended it, breaking Balthazar's hearts into a million little pieces. Though she also knew that Balthazar spent way too much time in his own head, so much so that he often couldn’t see what was right in front of him. When it came to Pedro, Balthazar lost all sense of the rational and jumped right into the cockamamie. “Balth, listen to me. You're not going to scare him away. Trust me. I know you say it's too soon, but you've been in love with him for years. He knows that. Sooner or later this was bound to happen, and I have a feeling it will all work out.”  She paused to let him take that all in. “You should have seen him working on your song. That's not the sign of a guy who's going to run off at the first sign of trouble. Not that this is trouble. It'll all be fine. Just go to sleep. Talk to him tomorrow.”  When he didn’t say anything she added, “Now I'm going to sleep now, and you should too.  Goodnight.”  
  
Ursula hung up, but Balthazar couldn't sleep. His mind was in overdrive. He actually considered sneaking over to Pedro's house and trying to erase the voicemail, but then the thought of him getting caught and having to explain what he was doing was enough to make him give up on that idea.  
  
His laptop was still open. He hit play on Pedro’s song again.  It calmed him down a little.  He plugged in his phone and added the song to it. He decided to give it a title first since he hated having unnamed tracks. "Shooting Star" by Pedro Donaldson is what he called it. He put in his ear buds and hit repeat and laid back in bed.  The sound of Pedro’s voice in his ears eventually lulled him to sleep.

* * *

Pedro woke up the next morning still in his clothes. He vaguely remembered John helping him upstairs after the party after falling asleep on the couch with Balthy. He went to check his phone, but of course he forgot to plug it in last night since he was half asleep when he got to bed and it was now dead. He plugged it in, changed his clothes into his football uniform, and headed downstairs for breakfast.  
  
Pedro didn't see Balthazar anywhere on the football field. He saw Ursula, Bea, Hero, even Meg was there, but no Balthazar. It wasn't like him to miss a game! But Leo was calling them all in to start so Pedro tried to push it out of his mind. Of course this meant he couldn't get it off his mind and he was really off his game!  
  
At half time, when Balthazar still wasn't there, he went over to ask Ursula if she'd heard from him cos he was starting to worry.  
  
"Where's Balth?"  
  
"You mean you haven't talked to him today?"  
  
"No. We were supposed to meet up here."  
  
“So you haven’t checked your voicemail?"  
  
"Uh no. Shit. My phone was dead. I left it home charging. Why? What's wrong? He hated the song, didn’t he? That's why he isn't here. I knew I should have just left the music stuff to him.”   Ursula smiled to herself.  These two were more alike than they realised.  They both jumped right to worst case scenarios, even when those were absurd.

"Oh, no.  It’s not that at all.  He, well I - Just you’ll understand when you check your voicemail.  I can’t really say more.”  
  
Pedro was confused and worried.  If he didn’t hate the song, then what was wrong?  Why wasn’t he here?  But Leo was calling him back in so he had to leave it at that.

* * *

Pedro rushed straight home after the match. He thought about going to Balthy's first, but Ursula had mentioned something about a voicemail and home was where his phone was. Sure enough when he turned it back on was a missed call and voicemail from Balthazar at 1:53 AM.  
  
He listened to the voicemail once, and couldn't figure out what was wrong. He was expecting something bad. He was expecting to hear Balth hated the song, but no Balth loved the song. Then he listened again, because he realised, no, that's not what Balthazar had said. He had said "you."  
  
And suddenly Pedro was back to himself three months ago when he first heard Ben say Balthazar liked him in that video. His mind was in overdrive but he couldn't make sense of his thoughts. No one had ever said those little three words to him before and he was freaking out just a bit.  Okay, more than a bit.  
  
The rational part of him knew Balth loved him, and had for a long time, but hearing those words were different and the irrational side of him was taking over. The side of him that wanted to run and hide because dealing with feelings had never been one of his strong suits. He was finally comfortable in this relationship. Things were good.  Really good. Yesterday, everything was perfect, and now...well, he didn't know how to handle this.   
  
Did he love Balthazar? He really didn't know. He wasn't really sure what love is. This was new territory for him. He cared about Balthazar, a lot. He hated when they spent time apart. Balthazar was his favourite person. He wrote him a freaking love song. 

_Oh_.

There was that word again.

Four little letters, with a vast amount of meaning. Could it be? Were his feelings really love?

Usually this would be where he would call Ursula, but he knew what she was going to say. She'd tell him to go talk to Balthazar.  Actually she already had told him to talk to Balthazar.

He picked up his phone and decided to text Balth.  He wasn't ready to _talk_ talk, but he also knew the longer he went without saying something, the more Balthazar was probably freaking out.

> _I missed you at my game today. I played horribly without my good luck charm._

Balthazar's phone buzzed. It was a text from Pedro.  He gave no indication if he had listened to the message.  In fact, if he wasn't mistaken, Pedro was even maybe flirting.  If he had listened, this was a good sign since at least Pedro was still talking to him, but if not, Balthazar didn't want to make things worse.

> _Yeah, sorry, I just wasn't feeling great._
> 
> _I know. I talked to Ursula, and I got your message. I'm glad you liked the song!_

So he did listen to it.  Balthazar's thumbs hovered over his phone, unsure how to respond.  It seemed pretty obvious Pedro was ignoring the huge elephant.  Then those three little dots appeared indicating Pedro was typing something else, so he held off responding until the next text came through.

> _look I know we need to talk about it  
>  ...  
> _ _Fuck this. I can't do this over text. I'm coming over._

* * *

Balthazar answered the door in his favourite Mumford & Sons shirt and a pair of sweat pants.  His hair was all messy, and he looked like he just got out of bed.  Which actually wasn't too far from the truth since he spent most of the day moping around his room.  He was still unsure what to expect from Pedro.

"Come on," Pedro said, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him out the door.

"What?  But I'm not even wearing any shoes!"  Both boys looked down at Balthazar's bare feet, but before he could pull away and run back into the house, Pedro had squatted down and pulled Balthazar's arm over his shoulder.

"Get on."

"You're not serious."

"Of course I am.  Come on, I used to carry you around all the time when we were kids."

"Yeah, and I didn't like it much then."  Balthazar couldn't argue with the pleading look on Pedro's face so he caved. "Fine, but where are we going?"

"You'll see."

They didn't go far.  Two blocks up, turn left, right, and follow the path, over the bridge, through the trees, and stop.  Both boys knew the path by heart even if it had been forever since either one of them had followed it.  It led to a quiet clearing overlooking a small part of the lake in Western Springs Park they found once as kids. It became their secret place, even if it wasn't really so secret since it was a public park, they just never ran into anyone else in all the years they used to play there, and never told anyone about it.

Pedro finally put Balthazar down when they got there, they laid down in the grass and looking up toward the sky.  Balthazar laid down next to him.

They just laid there like that in silence for a while, enjoying each others company, until Balthazar finally spoke up.

"Pedro, why'd you bring me here?"

"I dunno.  I guess I just needed to escape to a place where things were simpler so I could work things out in my head.  I didn't even know this was where we were going to end up when I picked you up until I started walking."  He sat up, and starting playing with the grass in front of him.  Balthazar sat up too.  He could see the gears turning in Pedro's head and remained quiet to let him work out whatever it was he needed to work out.  "I think I just wanted to show you that I'm not going anywhere.  We've been best friends for as long as I can remember, and even though things are different now, they also aren't really."  He glanced up at Balthazar to see if anything he was saying made any sense.  Balthazar gave him a little, encouraging nod.  "And I think I might love you too."  Pedro had spoken the words before his brain even registered that he had said them.  But it felt right. 

"You do?" Balthazar couldn't hide the giant dorky grin on his face.

"I do." Pedro said more assured.

And that's when Balthazar practically tackled Pedro back to the ground and kissed him. 

They lost track of time out there in their secret spot.  Before they knew it, the sky was changing colours and the sun was beginning to set.  Pedro carried Balthazar back home, since he still wasn't wearing any shoes, then walked home feeling happier than he ever remembered being.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually got a little carried away and ended up on Google Maps searching Western Springs Park (where Circle of Friends is where they had the meet up for Hero's vigil) for a spot that sort of fit my purposes in my head. First I found [this](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Western+Springs,+Auckland,+New+Zealand/@-36.868,174.71698,3a,75y,337.1h,48.88t/data=!3m5!1e1!3m3!1sCG3qlUenuRcAAAQYKEq5fA!2e0!3e11!4m2!3m1!1s0x6d0d476d9b2adad7:0x500ef6143a2b120) picture cube, then I went searching for it on satellite view and found it [here](https://www.google.com/maps/place/36%C2%B052%2702.4%22S+174%C2%B043%2716.9%22E/@-36.8673289,174.7213741,200m/data=!3m1!1e3!4m2!3m1!1s0x0:0x0)! I really hope these links work. This is kind of where I imagine them in the end. It's a bit off the beaten path so it gives them some privacy even within the public park. I just kept getting stuck figuring out where they would go so it helped to have a real place in mind, even if I have no idea what that place is like IRL!
> 
> Also, you might have noticed that I closed this fic. This story isn't over in my head, but I keep jumping into the future and have a few story lines I want to play with that just don't fit here. I need to flesh it out a little more, but there will mostly likely be a uni-based sequel.
> 
> Thank you to all of you who have been reading this and sending me encouraging words on tumblr. The last I checked this story had 50 kudos and over 500 hits which just blew my mind!
> 
> One last thing before I go, I actually wrote Pedro's song and recorded it. You'll notice I added another verse and a second chorus and turned it into the song it kept trying to be but I wasn't ready for Pedro to actually use the "L" word. [Go watch it here!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taspIMBsbNg)

**Author's Note:**

> I might decide that I'm not quite done with this story and continue to add to it. Encouragement would be nice if you want to read more. Like I said, I can't get these two out of my head! Anyway, thanks for reading, comments would be greatly appreciated! <3
> 
> EDIT: I checked the "this work has multiple chapters" box because of course I've gotten sucked back into these characters and haven't been able to stop writing. Don't know when I'll update, but I have plans to keep writing as long as they keep inspiring me.


End file.
